Sigh. Here comes another rant. I probably will be profane, just warning you. . .
OK - believe it or not most of the time I ignore things most people say. I do have the, "Wow, did they really just say that?" moment a lot, but usually I can just let it roll off and just look at the source. Really, that is what I should be doing now instead of letting it eat me up and making me ill, but I can't. I have to get it off my chest. In part, I am very mad at myself because I didn't confront this person when it happened, but me being me I was just left speechless after hearing the crap spew from her face. . .
I will say I have a good son. He is a thinker. He thinks a lot about things. He has a way of looking at things and seeing things that amazes me. He may be 12, and when he is not letting his 12 year old emotions get the better of him he is a great person to talk to. Gabe also cares a lot about people. It bothers him immensely when he sees animals, kids, and elderly people go without or be treated poorly. He helps to deliver meals on wheels with me and he loves it. He is nice to the elderly people, and has made a few really good friends among the elderly people. On top of all of this, he is probably the smartest person I have ever and ever will meet. Gabe will be a good man someday.
I will say, I do know my son's flaws. Gabe does not like to be around a lot of people. He is a loner - as are my husband and I. He would be happy if he saw his friends a few times a month, that would be ideal for him. He is easily irritated and hurt by people. People who are energetic annoy him. He gets very upset hearing people fight and yell at each other. He gets very hurt when friends do pre-teen teasing, he takes it personally. Gabe is not charismatic. He says things how he sees them and he won't sugar coat things, and a lot of people see this as rude. Gabe also works very hard to not let anyone know what he is feeling. He sees showing emotions as a weakness so he works very hard to never show those emotions.
That is pretty much my son in a nutshell.
Now, recently we had a get together in our neighborhood. Several neighbors as well as a few other people came, there was food, there was beer, the kids had a lot of fun running around and playing. My girls, being who they are, were in their element. Gabe came up to me once the sun went down and said, "Yah, I have had enough. I am going to bed." He wasn't being rude, he was being him.
A couple of hours later I was talking to a lady who I have met several times. She has a boy my son's age and they got into a physical altercation not long after we moved to Florida.. To make a long story short, my son was swimming in the pool with her two boys, one Gabe's age and one a few years younger. The younger boy kept following Gabe around saying, "Punch me in the face." Gabe said "no" several times until finally he said to the boy, "Do you really want me to punch you in the face?" And the boy said, "Yes! I can take it! Punch me in the face." So Gabe, being the literal person he is, punched this younger child in the face. The boy that was Gabe's age then jumped on Gabe and tried to drown him - and I mean seriously drown him - make him dead. Now, I do not condone Gabe punching this child in the face, and I had a long discussion with Gabe that he should never, ever hit anyone smaller and weaker then him even if the beg him to do it, but this child tried to kill my son. Needless to say this woman doesn't think highly of Gabe and Gabe works very hard at to avoid everyone in that family.
Anyway, to get back my irritation, the girls were being social, like always. I was discussing to this person how social my girls are, they love people, and then I ended it with, "And then we have Gabe." I meant it to be a joke because Gabe does not hide the fact that a party is the last place in the world he wants to be, he is so the opposite of my girls on this that there is something comical about it. This person saw this as an opening and at that point she just ran with it going on and on about how I just have to accept what God gave me and bide my time until he is 18 and will be out of the house. She discussed about how hard it would be to have a child like him but God gave him to me for a reason. In a few more years he would be gone and I could enjoy life again.
I just stared at her open mouthed as she continued to ramble on, eventually getting to how wonderful her kids are and how smart they are. I couldn't say anything to her for a while after that. I tried to tell myself this was the ignorant ramblings of a drunk bitch. I tried to let it go. . . but now I am just mad. Mad at her for presuming things about my son, who she knows little to nothing about. Mad at myself for not spitting in this persons face and gathering my children and going into the house.
I am mad that I didn't tell her this (and again, I am sorry if this is profane but I have to say it somewhere)
Excuse me, how dare you assume that my son is this terrible person who must be endured. You have no right say or think these things about him, because in all honestly you aren't fit to lick his boots.
That child, that child that I must "accept as he is and bide" my time has the most amazing mind of anyone you will ever meet. He will some day cure cancer or make a rocket to visit Mars. He will change the world in ways you have never and will never even be able to comprehend. Just because you do not understand his ways does not mean that he is bad or wrong, he is just not you or your children.
That child cares more about people than you can ever comprehend. That child will put his last dollar into the Salvation army bucket without even thinking, he will try to do it so no one notices it for he doesn't do it for the attention, he does it because it is right. That child begs and pleads with me to bring home every stray cat I see on the streets. That child turns away from homeless and hungry people sad and upset over their situation and angry because there is nothing he can do about it.
On top of that, Gable has over come more in his 12 years of life than many people overcome in 50 years. From being born dead, overcoming autism, and being ridiculed for not being like everyone else - Gabe already has the story that people write books about.
How dare you?! How dare you think these things about another person's child. How dare you have the audacity to say this things to anyone, much less his mother? What the hell is wrong with you?